Church Services
I attended several church services this afternoon. There were 3 separate locations for church and the services would rotate between them. They didn't last very long--scarcely five minutes each. Getting set up for each new service was quite a process. Especially so in the smallest church. There was hardly seating space for the 3 people and 3 stuffed animals and dolls in the congregation. It seemed to matter a great deal who sat where, so there were always things to be worked out.
We each had a different version of the Bible. One was entitled, "The Magic School Bus Gets Baked in a Cake, " another, "What was That?" another, "Walk Two Moons," and the last, "What Do You Say When a Monkey Acts That Way?" While there was not unity in translation, it was loudly commanded, especially in the church where the 4 year old boy was in charge, "Open your Bible!"
It helped that he gave page numbers.
I wasn't able to follow all the sermons exactly. I did hear some things I'd never heard in church before. He told us, while he twisted the belt to some play armor, " Jesus beat up the soldiers! "
He also preached about angels healing something. When I asked for it to be clarified what they healed, he repeated it for me, but I still wasn't able to comprehend it. New teachings take a while to sink in I guess. I also heard references about Hockey in his sermons.
I was never in services before where washroom/bathroom facilities were such a dominant theme both for songleaders, preachers, and attending stuffed animals. [In fact one bear was lucky to even be in church. He'd just been taken off the washline due to needing to dry after a wet slip up on a commode yesterday. His owner was quite sad when I insisted he be rinsed and hung to dry, but cheered up when I gave her a replacement stuffed bunny to tend and sleep with.]
Some contentions in these services included Entering Into the Church Properly. Doors needed to be open and closed correctly. There was a reverse problem from what Solomon had to solve. Instead of two mothers fighting over a child, two children fought over the mother figure, both claiming her [ME] as their mother. Fortunately no one suggested cutting me in half. Instead I showed them I had two sides to sit by. At one point there was a threatening church split when there was disagreement over whose turn it was to have a service next. Two of us went to one service and two to the other.
Singing was accapella while services were in the basement. Several tunes were hard to follow since none of the rest of us had heard the words or music before. Later, when we moved up to the livingroom, there was a piano and whistle recital. The whistles were made from drinking straws chewed flat at one end, and were very piercing and dramatic!
I'm pleased to say a healing took place in the one service. A foot was injured from stepping on a sharp toy [probably while bringing a stuffed animal back into the service after yet another trip to the imaginery washroom]. The tears and pain were laid to rest with a blowing and kissing on the foot. As is needed in healing, FAITH in the powers of the one healing was a factor too.
After several services had already been completed, we were ready to begin another in the smallest facility again. However, the 4 year old boy was still not coming in. He was in plain view outside the church swinging his arm around. The two 3 year old girls were ready to begin, so I asked him if he was coming to church. He said, "Later...I have to finish playing ball first. " Some people just don't have their priorities right! Edith





